on the edge of the affair

this suddenly turns as a mess.
the last time i ever set too much thought on my Sweet Stranger was after i was sick, and my boyfriend thought i was pregnant. panickin on the idea that i might be a future mum, i called him out for a date, and we walked along the embankment near Charing Cross, waiting for the sun to set above the London Aquarium.
we then spent time talking about a lot of things, even about my boyfriend's presumptions. amazingly, it felt really really comfortable for me to talk about practically anything. he comforted my fears in a way that it didnt feel offending (like most people do), and despite thinking that he might justbe the father of the child i was pressumably carrying, he made my woorries seem unworthy. it's funny to say this now, but he has one of the highest conersation intelligence i have known so far. you know when sometimes you say something funny and the other person takes it seriously, and the other way around? that never happened with us. like a fitted puzzle, we converted in all the right responses,that it was just a nice conversation. it didn't even feel like we have slept together, as that time he was practically my best friend.
that's why when the time came to see him off to the states, i didn't really collapse in the loss. though it did hurt a bit to see those blue eyes looking helplessly at you as they pass the security check counters and you're at the bitter other end.
i got to thinking; is that there is to it? has it all come to this? is this the end,and afterward i will never see him again?
my sweet stranger told me no, and that he will be back to get me from my boyfriend.......i'd love to just imagine,...
i miss him now, as a very good friend. i hope this doesnt affect my relationship right now, but when i get call from him now and then, it can get weird.